Wednesday, May 6, 2009

working it out...

I didn't plan this.

If you understand anything about my past, understand this:

I would have never imagined that I'd be here.

But here I am. And I understand now that I have had a hand in it. I realize that my choices have led to both joy and heartbreak, but none to irreparable destruction. The full picture of my life fits into a story that I don't quite fully understand. But my life makes sense in the little bit that I do.

I am layers. And all the issues I'm working through right now will give way to more issues. This is a blessing. I must always stare myself down, face to face with my worst. I must wrestle with my failure and embrace my success. It never ends. It is an adventure. The adventure was never meant to end.

The changes we seek are happening as we speak. Whether we acknowledge it or not. It is better to acknowledge though.

I never planned any of this. But it is happening. And I'm making plans. Making decisions. Impacting and being impacted. I am constantly working out the meanings of my salvation. What else is there to do?

Wrestle with it and limp away.


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